5 Ways to Make Change Easier
This past summer has been the summer of change for me:
I became the parent of a teenager and an almost-teenager.
My community – the people I spent most of my time with, and how I spend my time – has shifted.
Our family business is growing and changing constantly.
Kesha took the dollar sign out of her name.
I changed my hair color.
I changed the brand of toilet paper we use at the house.
Everything in my life, in every area, is in a time of transition. For the most part, it’s all good change (although I’ll admit that I’m scared to death of teenagers.)
Change gives me anxiety.
I ask a lot of questions in a time of change.
I seem to cry a LOT in times of change.
I try to figure everything out and how I fit in during a season of change.
Change can suck the physical, emotional and mental energy out of you, all at once.
Sometimes a change can be as simple as sending your kid off to first grade, or as difficult changes to your marriage. No matter what, it’s not easy.
I think transition – that rickety, swaying bridge between what’s familiar and what’s about to be – is the toughest part. It would be one thing if the moment we made a change we would immediately be settled into the new routine or new way of life. The transition part – the unknown, the waiting, the healing, the adjusting – that’s the part that’s tough for me.
As a control freak planner, I like to know what’s coming. I like to make a list of what I need and get it done. But in transition, you don’t necessarily know what you need. You just know it hurts. You feel the pain of getting out of your comfort zone and doing a new thing that maybe you didn’t necessarily choose for yourself. It’s our nature to want to keep things the way they are, especially if it’s the way we’ve always done it and if it feels good.
But this is the stuff that helps us grow. This is where destiny and purpose are revealed. Here are some things you should do when going through a change of any kind:
Take care of yourself
I’ve found that in this time I have had to spend even more moments in quiet and really paying attention to what I need. It sounds so selfish but I promise you it’s not. Whatever that looks like for you, if you’re in a season of change, spend more quiet time meditating, praying or listening to calming music. Work out more, take longer walks, get an adult coloring book, spend time with positive people…whatever you do to relax and center yourself.
Move Forward with Great Expectancy
While change doesn’t always feel wonderful, most of the time it helps build our character which puts us in a position to be who we are intended to be. Instead of focusing on the pain and hurt that transition and change can bring, I am trying to have expectancy! I expect that a breakthrough is about to happen. I expect that I will meet people I would never have otherwise met who will sharpen me, and I expect to have experiences that will bring me joy because change happened in my life.
Let Go of Control
Change will happen with us or without us. The only constant thing is change, right? So we have to let go of trying to control things we cannot. We have to let go of trying to control people we cannot control. The best thing we can control is our response to change when it will inevitably collide with the world around us.
Find Community
My first instinct when it comes to big change is to isolate. I want to hide in my bubble until the transition time passes me by, while I color in my blanket fort.
Especially if there are people close to your circumstance, surround yourself with a positive community. Chances are that if you open up about how these changes are affecting you, you won’t be alone. My community is going through one of the most radical changes we’ve seen yet, and sometimes it’s nice to just be able to vent, hug, say ‘me too’ and bear it together, over a glass of wine by the fire pit, of course!
Trust the Process
I’ll be honest: I hate this phrase. I hate it when people tell me to ‘trust the process’ and ‘enjoy the journey,’ because wouldn’t we all just rather get there? I’d rather just know what’s in front of me. It gives me more control…but see #3 above.
The process doesn’t ever look pretty. It’s unnerving and uncomfortable and most times it really just sucks. I’ll bet you that no precious stone “enjoys” being pounded and heated and worked over and over again. It’s not a fun process. But in the end, it becomes the best version of itself that it can be, and maybe even makes an appearance on The Bachelor.
We have to trust that change – even change that we didn’t choose or that we don’t agree with – will help make us into the best version of ourselves that we can be.
How do you deal with change? Comment below!
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